Good bye? Good cry! (Ba-da chh!)

Sitting in Chicago's O'Hare International Airport, watching a full-length live-action version of Toy Story on YouTube. 

You can read every study abroad handbook, all your orientation materials, and even witty blogs online, but nothing prepares you for saying goodbye, (but witty blogs with clever rhyming titles are hilarious and fun, so keep reading them…). It’s the last thing on everyone’s mind: you think about taking pictures under the Eiffel Tower, having wine by the Seine, and kis-… talking to cute French boys, but you don’t think about saying goodbye. Of course I knew my parents weren’t coming to France, but actually realizing I’d have to make my own breakfast and start using a real alarm clock again was tough. Oh yeah, and I’ll like… miss them and stuff…

After the customary farewell photo, hugs and kisses commenced. I thought I was fine, until mid-hug, my mom took in a dramatic, shaky breath… and then, through no fault of my own, I started crying… perfusely. Thanks a lot, mom.

To combat future embarrassing public displays of what I like to refer to as, “Au revoir Ailments,” I propose these useful tips:

 1. Buy your parents a human-sized Kennel.

I didn’t even say goodbye to my dogs. This is a big deal for me—especially since I get separation anxiety when they go to the groomer. I put them away an hour before I left, and went on my merry way, distracting myself with the latest episode of Kourtney and Kim take Miami. I gave them a bone, and ignored the puddles of precious that stared up at me for an hour… If only I could forego saying goodbye to my parents and substitute it with quality entertainment! Plus, they can’t get into any trouble while I’m gone if they’re locked up in cages. Problem. Solved.

      2. Don’t look back!

After saying goodbye and making the long walk down to security, I had finally composed myself. And, needless to say, after being groped, poked and prodded, my tear ducts were as likely to produce tears as Janet Jackson performing the halftime show at the SuperBowl tonight. That changed, however, when I turned to give my parents one last wave. Again, I blame my mother. I always cry when I see someone crying. At this point, my make up was resembling the Joker at the end of the second Batman movie. That being said…

3    3.  Wear waterproof mascara!

Use your imagination.

Exhibit A

4    4.  Think about how you’re on your way to Paris, and about to have buckets of foreign fun!

      Definitely the best medicine: Distraction! Well, that and running to the bathroom to fix the monstrocity that is now your face and pretending that no one saw you cry.

Crushed it.

À Bientôt!